• Home
  • About »
    • for Beginners
    • Disclaimer
  • Links »
    • Educational Resources
    • Parenting Websites
    • for Chicago Parents
    • Mommy Blogroll
  • Archives »
    • by Category
    • by Tags
    • by Date
    • Most Commented
    • Most Read
  • Contact

Practical Mama

Practical wisdom and balanced lifestyle for parents

  • Home
  • Parenting
    • Positive Parenting
    • Parenting Fun
    • Working Mother
    • Community Involvement
  • Baby and Child
    • Pregnancy
    • Delivery/Birth
    • Breastfeeding
    • Kids’ Health
    • Sleep
    • Potty Training
    • Kids’ Safety
  • Play & Learn
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Play
    • Books
    • Education
    • School
    • Birthday Parties
  • Home
    • Home Organization
    • Gardening
    • Sewing
    • Backyard Chickens
    • Product Review
  • Food
    • Recipes
    • Nutrition
    • Practical Cooking
    • Kitchen Tips
    • Menu Plan Monday
  • Health & Fitness
    • Health
    • Fitness
    • Beauty
  • Travel
    • Family Travel Tips
    • Chicago
    • International Destinations
    • US Destinations
  • Blogging
    • News
    • Giveaways
You are here: Home / Parenting / Positive Parenting / Sibling Relationship: Making new habits

Positive Parenting

Sibling Relationship: Making new habits

By Practical Mama |
This post may contain affiliate links

Pin2
Share
Tweet
2 Shares


For the last few weeks, my son and daughter literally lost their capabilities to communicate and getting along well. The constant bickering, stubbornness, competition, disrespect and fights got worse. Not only did we lose our peace in our home that but they carried their unacceptable behavior out of the house to family visits and public places.

We mostly tried calling off their fights, giving parental advice and sometimes stern warnings which only helped momentarily. They pushed the limits of my patience. Eventually, I lost it, this past Saturday during a visit to my brother’s.

It was already a hard day with few incidents and I could not stand to listen to my daughter’s whining while my son purposefully pressing her buttons. I told them to put on their coats and boots, because we were leaving. Suddenly leaving my brother’s house, only 15 minutes after we’ve arrived there, left my brother, SIL and my mom in shock. I don’t think my borther and SIL ever saw me that angry. During the ride back home, we were in dead silence in the car. My daughter fell asleep as my son was quietly pondering on what’s going to happen to them. He was aware that I was infuriated. During the ride, I calmed down and just started to brainstorm. I needed a long term solution. I needed something that would make them think about their behavior every single hour, every single day. I needed a program to help them learn communicate better by practicing.

When we came home, my daughter kept on with her nap. I gave my son a haircut and he went in to take a shower. In the meantime, I prepared this poster. I talked to my husband about my plans and he agreed. Once my daughter woke up and my son dressed up, we sat together in the living room to explain about the “First think, then act” program I put together.

When I asked them to come to the living room, to have a talk, my son was quite worried. First, we reminded them their unpleasant and mostly unacceptable behavior towards each other in the recent weeks. Then, we pointed out they have to work on improving these behaviors. Whatever we have been doing wasn’t working, so we introduced our month-long plan to help them make new habits.

We put a calendar for the next month. We listed the behaviors they have to work on. We gave examples during the conversation. Their goal is to practice these good behaviors all day long to get a green smiley face, heart, star or check mark (they made these up) at the end of the day. The daily behavior evaluation is not individual and outcome affects to both, so they have to work together, guide each other, cooperate and communicate so that they do not get an X. We’ll write exemplar behaviors and actions on post its and stick them to the empty area below to recognize and appreciate. If either of them behaves inappropriately or both of them fight, they get a red X for that day.

Even though we haven’t really promoted this as a reward or punishment program, the positive outcome of this monthly program will help them earn back some of the privileges they’ve lost due to their behavior. They are not allowed to spend any time with iPad, iPhone, computer (games) and TV until they fill that calendar with green icons. They haven’t protested that much, either because they were expecting something harsher or they have confidence in themselves. I am not sure.

We taped the poster on the wall of the living room. They read the desired behaviors every time they pass. I tried to keep the negative verbs out of my poster and out family talk as much as possible.

Today was day 1. This morning they were playing together and cooperating so well, my eyes teared up. They cleaned up the basement together. Towards the end of the day, I admit, there were some moments, when we had to remind “think first, then act”. At the end of the day, they got a green smiley face.

I will post the developments and the results on a weekly basis.

You might also like:

  • When baby teeth fall out but permanent teeth don't come in right away
    When baby teeth fall out but permanent teeth don't come in…
  • Kids' Summer Vacation Away with Grandparents - Vol. I
    Kids' Summer Vacation Away with Grandparents - Vol. I
  • Back to school, back to blogging
    Back to school, back to blogging
  • How I stopped yelling at my kids with this one simple questions
    How I stopped yelling at my kids with this one simple…

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

.
« Previous Post: “Taste it once” rule
Next Post: “First think, then act” status update »

Trackbacks

  1. “First think, then act” status update | Practical Mama says:
    at

    […] been more than a month, since we’ve completed the “First think, then act” program in the month of February. I wanted to share the results with […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Get the newsletter

All the latest sent straight to your inbox so you never miss out!

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

.


I am a mother of two and a type of person who you would call “Jack of all trades, master of none”. As you might guess from categories, I love my children, reading, sewing, gardening, traveling and cooking. I also work full time so I have to be practical to do all the things I want to do in a 24-hr-day. More About Me


More on Practical Mama

How to boost your immune system for winter
How to make your own bone broth
Record your own lullaby
Sandpaper Letters

Trending

  • Massage for ear infection and earache
  • Packing hot school lunches and keeping them warm
  • 20 Thermos school lunch ideas
  • How to prevent knee holes in pants
  • How to turn flat sheets into fitted sheets
  • How to hack a pull up bar to use as gymnastics training bar for kids
  • DIY- How to build a balance beam
  • Arts & Crafts: Glittery Eiffel Tower
  • Organizing LEGO instruction booklets
  • Is it normal for an infant not to poop for days?

Categories

Archives

Copyright ©2023, Practical Mama. All Rights Reserved. Custom design by Pixel Me Designs