As a new mom, initially, it’s hard to accept that babies do cry. That is the only way for them to express their needs as a newborn. They cannot use mimics or words for milk or a diapers change. When they are comfortable, they look around quietly and peacefully and cry when they need something. (Grandmas, mothers, aunties or neighbors, who ask us “why we make our baby cry?!?!?”, should hear this out as well)
Now that you have read my long posts on the subject of sleeping, you can see clearly that I believe that all healthy babies can naturally fall a sleep on their own and all they need is a little help from their parents. I do not believe in crying the baby out to asleep crying. However, it is true that babies might initially cry when they face an environment they are not familiar with. This is not a cry of hurt or trauma. You should observe your baby and listen to his/her cries and see that in fact they are pushing themselves to sleep. Once you allow him/her to get used to the new environment or routine, making sure that (s)he knows you are there to comfort them, (s)he iseventually going to get used to it and going to be happier for being able to sleep on his/her own.
The earlier you create this routine and use special methods, the less they will cry. You can read different books on different sleep methods and tools to minimize the crying.
In my opinion, the language you use about your baby is just as important as learning methods in your parenting. If parents constantly nag about how hard their baby is, the harder things will get. If parents keep telling their baby how good and peaceful baby is, the easier things will get. This might sound weird but definitely try it out. (See NLP)
At the beginning, I read and found useful 4 books including “The Baby Whisperer solves all your problems“. I am thankful to friend, a mother herself, who recommended this book to me. I can definitely say that it saved my life not only in regards to sleeping but in regards to other daily routine for babies.
Tracy Hogg, who was a British nanny provides excellent examples and methods on how to reduce crying to minimum and set a certain routine. Other books I have found useful were “The happiest baby on the block”, “On becoming baby wise”and “Healthy sleep habits, happy child” . I had also bought The no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley but read it much later. I am sure her book called Kid Cooperation: How to Stop Yelling, Nagging, and Pleading and Get Kids to Cooperate which is about disciplining your child had practical recommendations as well. Though I heard about the Ferber method and I had the book in hand, I did not read it because it is similar to some of the other books I have read which had softer methods, approaches. No matter which method you choose, no matter how you change it to adapt it to your baby’s personality and needs, once you create a routine:
- Be patient.
- Do not switch methods, stick to one and work on it.
One common warning in all books I read was: The worst thing you can do to your baby is not crying him/her out but to trying a certain method and giving up to go back to square one or to jumping to another method without giving your baby enough time to adjust. Trust me, it really isn’t going to take that long. Most of the books I read suggest that you will get results by the end of a week or at most two. I am sure the hardest babies probably require a week to adopt while others get used to it in 3 days.
I will share the methods and recommendations I found useful in these books one by one.